Tommy Collison

People I never really had.

I read blogposts by different people (mainly from IrishStudentBlogs folks) about their experiences with their grandparents, and I try to imagine what my interaction with mine would have been like. The only grandparent I have living memory of is my mum’s father, and I don’t think he ever left the house while I was alive. We certainly never had the relationship that the movies portray – going fishing, watching Countdown or whatever.

Of course, Patrick and John knew our grandparents longer than I did, what with being older, so they probably know more about them. My only mental picture of them is from what Mom or Dad say about them. I know my dad’s mother was a teacher, and that my mum’s dad built the house they lived in himself, but they’re only small snippets of information – not much.

Because of that, I think that my siblings and I (probably me more than the other two, being younger), sort of ‘adopted’ people in our lives into the grandparent role. My dad’s uncle used to live near us when we lived in Tipperary, and he’d sometimes call up to our house for dinner and he’d tell us of things about his time as a missionary. I distinctly remember thinking that he was a grandfatherly figure – grey hair, thick glasses – a quintessential old person, in my 7 year old eyes.

We also had a ‘grandmother’. She’s married to my dad’s cousin and also lived near us. She was an epic cook, and to this day she always comes to our house around Christmas (it should be soon enough this year, actually) and do a load of baking. It became a sort of tradition around Christmas, which I think is nice, even if I’m not a fan of mince pies. When we lived near her in Tipperary, she’d always be the one who’d mind us if Mom and Dad were away. I always got the feeling that since her kids were practically grown up by the time that we’d be asking her to collect so and so from school, she assumed the role of mother unto us. She was a person willing to take on the role of ‘Mammy’ unfalteringly, when we needed her.

A couple of different things have occurred, which have led to no-one in my life today really assuming the role of ‘grandparent’. Firstly, dad’s uncle passed away a few years back, and since we now live in Limerick, our ‘grandmother’ doesn’t take on many psuedo-mother duties. Also, John and Patrick are now away at college, leaving me effectively an only child. Finally, I’m 15, which means there’s less babysitting and emergency collections from schools needed.

So whenever I read blogposts or hear people talking about grandparents, I often find myself wondering about what might have been…