Tommy Collison

Unfortunately not as cool as snakes :(

iPhone on Airplane mode? Check.

Ok, we can begin. The clock tells me it’s 17:30 but with the stupid hour going back, is that 16:30 or 18:30? I think 17:30 may be correct, because Apple supposedly does this all for me. What would be nice is that while it did that, it told me what was going on. You know, I could wake up the morning after the hour change to a little system message:

“Hi Tommy, how are you? That’s great to hear, oh, I got you the 12 new emails you had and the 40 RSS items, freshly pressed after the dog brought them from the front door. Oh, you know that silly little hour thing they were talking about on Twitter? Yeah, I just let 1am happen twice, so you’re cool. Love, Your iPhone.”

God I’d love that. Anyone want to make me an iPhone app? :)

I pause in my furious, one handed tapping, deciding that my current sitting position isn’t very comfortable, and to twist into another one. We tried to sneak into the emergency row at the start of the flight, but boyish faces have the downsides of being just that: boyish, and the hawk-nosed Hungarian stewardness was all over me within 30 seconds, demanding to know how old I was, but not in the cool way Simon Pegg did it in Hot Fuzz. I fleetingly consider taking licence with my age, adding one to it and becoming 16. “You need to be 18″ the stewardess tells me waspishly after I admit I’m not Macaulay Culkin, er, I mean, actually 15. Seriously, how is that kid 29 or something? I bet he got that all the time; being eternally young, thanks to Home Alone, when he was old enough to have kids.

As I swap from trying to have my legs stretched out to having them underneath me, I decide that the song playing on my iPod Shuffle is no good. I hit next and on comes Adam Pascal. Not him exactly, the song begins with the weird murmurings of a didgeridoo and the same few notes being played on some distant piano. Just as you’re getting lulled by the sheer repetitiveness of the simple music, the guitar and drums start off and Pascal’s vocals begin. I for one am convinced that Pascal did this on purpose. The serenity that gives way to thundering drums just screams “…and that’ll teach you to fall asleep listening to me!”. His voice is weird, I know a few good singers in real life, but whose singing voice is so incredibly staged, it’s grating. Like, it’s as if ‘this is my singing voice, and this is my talking voice’ and they sound nothing alike. I find Adam Pascal’s voice weird because it’s so raw and untouched. There’s nothing staged about it – you can tell that he just walked into the recording studio and did it. None of the rigmarole you hear about with other artists.

This was written on Sunday evening (it’s just coming up to 6pm, or it 5, or 7? I’m so hopeless) but I’ll set it to publish on Monday morning because the thought of a holiday without blogging is unthinkable. I need a holiday somewhere remote, with no reception, or, more hilariously, somewhere so cold my fingers fall off before I’ve finished the http://. Can anyone type on their iPhone with their toes? I’ll wanna talk to you.