Tommy Collison

I have a cough, fever and mild headache. Still, show must go on

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Have a read of this.

A lesbian couple with 3 of their 4 adopted children are about to set sail when suddenly one collapses. They hurry off the ship and into an ambulance which takes them to Ryder Trauma Center at Jackson Memorial Hospital. The partner tried to follow the gurney into the trauma area but were stopped by the staff and instructed to go to the waiting room.

About a half hour later, a social worker comes out to the partner and says “you are in an anti-gay city and state. And without a health care proxy you will not see Lisa nor know of her condition”.

That’s possibly one of the most bastardly things I’ve ever read, ever. If I was in the position, I would probably have hit him, or similar. At the very least there would’ve been a ferocious argument.

The partner obviously has a more level head then I do, and deals with him by asking him for his fax number because she said “we had legal Durable Powers of Attorney” and would get him the documents. Within a short time of meeting this social worker, she contacted friends in Lacey, WA, our hometown, who went to their house and faxed the legal documents required for her to make medical decisions for Lisa.

After unsuccessfully trying to sneak into the trauma centre (good on her, I’d have done the same) she’s left in the waiting room with her luggage, children and thoughts. She watches other couples being brought into the trauma centre to visit loved ones, slowly realizing that the social worker was right, that she wasn’t allowed to see Lisa because they were lesbians.

As she calls her family doctor two surgeons approach her and tell her that the massive bleed in Lisa’s brain gave her little chance to survive and if she did it would be in a persistent vegetative state.SherI let the surgeons know Lisa’s wishes of not wanting to be in a vegetative state, which were also spelled out in her Living Wills and Advance Directive.

A while later, she’s allowed to see Lisa with a Catholic priest who performs the last rites, before returning to the waiting room to break the news to her.

She pleads with the admitting staff to let her kids be with her, before being bluntly told they’re too young. Another shock. How can they do this?

The author makes the completely true point that it’d be unthinkable for a straight couple to be separated for minutes, never mind hours. Personally, I thought that bank accounts and the like would be harder to iron out for gay and lesbian couples – surely not access to a dying loved one at a hospital?

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Second article is from the Irish Times, an opinion and analysis piece about the media and the grieving process, which can be read here. The article opens with the father of Darren Sutherland, who appeared on the Late Late show 4.5 weeks ago. That was less than two weeks after the star’s death. I don’t understand how a father can go on TV and speak about it like he did – but I can’t understand why they’d ask him to come on.. is there no respect?

Now, I’m a firm believer in not stopped people doing something like that if they want to, and not have other people make those sorts of decisions for them. I got into a rather large argument with someone on Twitter back in June about whether or Michael Jackson’s daughter should’ve been allowed to speak at the funeral.

I mean, yeah, she broke down, but she still got through that. Of course, knowing Michael Jackson, it was probably all orchestrated. I digress.

Like the above article, I’m not saying suicide should be a taboo subject and not talked about. Indeed, the media can play a big role in helping people, the fault lay both with having them there, and interviewing them in the first place.

OK, rant over, but your thoughts are, as always, most welcome. :)