Tommy Collison

I don’t know what these sorts of posts are usually called – they’re taking a joke subject and pretending to be all serious. You decide!

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If you want to be my headphones, you should know that I’m a very demanding, um, owner of headphones. For example:

You will be worn in bed

Especially with my laptop going bonkers recently, between the screen being floppy and the speakers not working, I have to get my audiobook fix from my iPhone.

Having said that, you won’t be forced to play audiobooks all night. You see, there’s a cool feature on the iPhone when it comes to this. I’m not sure how many people know about it. Is it a feature only taught by the Tibetan monks of the highlands, and they make you swear a blood oath of secrecy before you leave, or is it common knowledge?

Basically, you know how to set a countdown timer in Clock? Well, when you’re choosing what ringtone you want to sound when it reaches 00:00:00, there’s also a setting that you can tell the iPhone to sleep the iPod application. So I just set the timer for 20 minutes and once the time’s up, the iPhone falls asleep too! Very good for preserving battery power.

You have to resign yourself to spending extended periods of time in my ass pocket

When it comes to my jeans, pockets are ordered in degrees of importance. The really important stuff, my phone, money and LUAS tickets get put in the front right, while slightly less important stuff, receipts and headphones, get shoved unceremoniously in the ass pocket.

Oh, you will be sat upon. Sorry receipts.

Actually, I find receipts take being sat on rather well. Who’d have thought it?

You’ll be forced to listen to some pretty odd music

Some might even call it eclectic

Yeah, sorry about that.

You won’t get any of that fancy fold up action either

Nope, like I said, ass pocket all the way.. :)