Jun 14
At last
Whenever I tried to tell anyone why I loved my cane so much, I found I kinda couldn’t. I mean, it’s not that it gives me greater mobility, or takes the strain off my rotten knees.
Whenever anyone asked why I loved the cane, I really couldn’t answer. Corntacular as it sounds, I couldn’t get the words out, so I fobbed them off with some lame excuse about balance.
Now I have one.
It’s a physical manifestation of my disability. People see Aislinn, and they stop, they let me through doors, they make room for me, they give me more time if I’m following them somewhere. They offer me the lift.
When I was younger, I hated this. People were always instilling this need to conform. ‘We’re gonna make you as normal as everyone else’, they’d say. I was young, I was impressionable.
And so I went along. I squeezed though those gaps, I ran a few steps to keep up with people.
Except, now I’m older. I’m beginning to think. I don’t want to be the same. I’m obviously not. Inside, I am, sure, but being the same as everyone else doesn’t really help the fact my muscles are weaker than normal.
If all the cane does for me is help me socially, then by god I’m sticking with it.
June 14th, 2009 at 9:28 am
Well said T, go for it!
June 14th, 2009 at 11:15 am
My friend, who died of cancer last year, felt exactly the same about her bald head. She didn’t wear a wig in public because she felt that without it she looked like everybody else, and when people saw that she had no hair, they gave her a break – didn’t expect her to rush for the lift, or hurry her up when she got a bit befuddled counting out coins.
A great point and well made. Here’s to diversity, and giving others a break. xx
June 14th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Your cane is called Aislinn? Ha! Cool :)
Great post dude, thanks for sharing!
June 14th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Sorry to hear about your friend, but good to hear that she didn’t let it get her down. I hate hearing about people who spend their last year in hospital, that’s not living..
Those are the exact examples I’m talking about. I mean, knowing that your life isn’t going to be any worse because of CP is one thing, but at the end of the day, you still are different from everyone else, and shouldn’t dislike that fact.
June 14th, 2009 at 11:24 am
@Darragh Yep, I called it Aislinn because HowSoJoe has a clarinet called Tommy. Confusion FTW!
June 14th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
*hug*
*is pretty much the only thing I can think of to say*
June 14th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
We are all different, and it is a good job. Can you imagine if everyone looked old and wrinkled like me! BLeuh! *Shivers at the idea. The cane is cool.
June 15th, 2009 at 10:33 am
TT, be careful that you do not jump to the coping stage before you have used up all the treatment/fixing options!
To relate this back to the lady who had cancer… You can be sure that she and her family did everything they could to treat the cancer. Almost nobody just lies down and says “ah, too bad, I got “X”. Can’t do anything about it. May as well make the best of life with it.” This is a stage that comes much later after we have tried to understand the condition, diagnosed it, treated it to the best of modern medicines’ ability to do so etc. As a result of such process, many people find either a total or temporary cure for different diseases/conditions.
There is nothing wrong with your coping strategy either. Just be careful that you only have to cope with the minimum “difference from normal” that is possible. As you know, there are lots of strengthening exercises which will improve your standing and walking and help your knees. Be sure you are are giving them a chance. If “Aisling” was capable of collusion, I would have a quiet chat with her and suggest that the next time you lean on her she whispers “are you sure you need to be leaning on me this much … have you done your exercises today”. And if the answer to both questions is yes, then she would say “well lean away, I’m here for you”.
June 16th, 2009 at 8:05 am
We ALL have canes.
June 19th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Tommy i think your little friend is more of a menace then anything else.. i myself have seen the awful side to her. you do not deserve special treatment. you are evil and should be treated as such..
June 24th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
And it’s got flames! Yay
July 27th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
[...] 2009 Telling… Posted by Niamh under personal, stories [2] Comments I was reading a few posts on Tommy’s site recently where he was talking about his cane and the posts resonated with [...]