Tommy Collison

Do I feel older than I was 2 minutes ago?

Of course!

I’ve gotten older! Sometimes I’m bored, sometimes I’m tired. Sometimes I wonder what it all means. I’m officially a decade and a half old, which is a long time in kid years. In fact, it’s a very long time. When you put it another way, it’s 5479 (according to WolframAlpha) days ago. That’s a lot of going to beds, getting up to go to schools, that’s 793 Fridays. That’s a lot of euphoria at two days off school. Someone should harness that. Now that’s a renewable energy source.

Having said that, I don’t remember much before, like, 2 years of age, so it could just well be that I popped straight out of the womb as a tiny little two year old, complete with obligatory bright eyed innocence and grazed knees.

Speaking of two years, that’s how long I’ve been a teenager for! I’ve mastered some of the being-a-teenager tricks, like playing music really loud, while some (the moodiness) haven’t come yet (I don’t think.. certain family members may beg to differ)

I’ve had my ups, my downs as well as my inbetweens, and those moments that you can’t really categorize. I love those.

Mom says, about her company, here’s to the next twenty years, as her company is 20 years old this year. I’d say something similar, but I kinda plan on being around a bit longer, at least until I get everything I want to get done finished. Climbing Everest has always been a little pipe dream of mine.

I’m writing one great song before I… go
-Roger, from RENT

Above is a quote from a song from RENT. Roger is a musician, recently diagnosed with AIDS, who desperately wants to make his mark on the world before he dies.

I’d be kinda like that. Not the being-diagnosed-with-AIDS part, the want-to-make-his-mark-on-the-world part.

Stemming from my confusion about how my life is a tiny video on the big 3D IMAX of the human race, comes the intense fear (and completely rational, I like to think) that when I die, I won’t be remembered outside of family and friends.

Find
The one song
Before the virus takes hold
Glory
Like a sunset
One song
To redeem this empty life

That’s another fear, not doing anything much with my life.

I’m working on making neither of them possible, so I doubt (and hope!) neither will become a reality, so no worries.

In the meantime, help yourself to some birthday cake.