Tommy Collison

8 tweets I will unfollow you after. Lowercase letters in 1 and 3 indicate variables

1. w many followers until z!
x!
y!

Yes, 7,000 is a very round number, but if you’re one of the types who tweet “6 more!”, “3 more!”, “1 more, c’mon lads!” I’m just going straight into your profile and unfollowing.

2. @whoever is new to Twitter today, please follow her and make her feel welcome

Yes, she’s new, great, but unless you give me a reason to follow her, I won’t. This is why I kind of dislike #followfriday. You give me a list of names. Why should I follow this person, what can she add to my stream? That’s what your number one question should be.

3. w many tweets until z!
x!
y!

This links in with #1, and I swear, if you count down from 10, I will actively block you.

4. Retweeting* things twice in sucession

I saw this especially on the day of the 20th anniversary Hillsborough disaster. Yes, it was awful, not denying it. However, if I have no interest in football, I don’t care for lots of messages clogging my stream. I will remember it, but I don’t need 20 messages. One guy re-tweeted something along the lines of ‘you’ll never walk alone!’ and then the same thing from a different source. Erm, * unfollow *

5. Retweeting* yourself

Example: @whoever (different one from above) sends ‘xyz. Please RT’. @whenever comes along as does so: ‘RT @whoever: xyz. Please RT’. Now, that’s fine. I’m not against RTs. It’s if @whoever goes: RT ‘@whenever @whoever: xyz. Please RT’. It’s the exact same message to the same people!

6. if all your tweets are RTs

I follow you to get your original thought. Nuff said.

7. people who plead for followers

You don’t get followers by asking. Try earning them with clever and witty tweets (I know I mightn’t always manage this..)

8. using text speak, leaving out words or letters

“R u well?”

‘Hope you well”

Both = auto unfollows from me. If you’re not willing to talk proper English, you can forget me following you. Exemption if you’re not fluent.

* Retweeting = when you repost someone’s tweet to get the message further